Wake Up and Be Awesome

I LOVE THIS MUG.  Shout-out to my friends, Nikki and Jay, for gifting me this mug for my birthday lat year.

Wake up and be awesome.

Such a good reminder, especially for those rainy days when you've forgotten your umbrella; for those days when you have to get up after a sleepless night; for those days when you're hungover after having one too many drinks; for those days when you wake up with sore throat and runny nose and have to miss work.

The latter was the case for me when I woke up this morning. AWESOME! Not really. Sarcasm aside, it definitely wasn't great waking up with a cold. I didn't feel like being awesome. I wanted to sleep all day.  Not my preference for how I would've liked to start my week.  It's easy to let your negative emotions take over and set the tone for your day.  That's why I love this friendly reminder - wake up and be awesome.

Now when I say that I didn't feel like being "awesome",  I don't mean "awesome" in the sense of, "YAY!", "HURRAY!", "in-your-face" kind of awesome. Although, I obviously didn't feel that way either.  When I look at that mug, I take it as a reminder to be a different kind of awesome. Now I know I'm probably being way too introspective here, but after spending all day in my apartment (without much to do), can you really blame me for doing some self-reflection?  Before I get into my own interpretation, let me tell you what Merriam Webster has to say about the word:

awesome | expressive of awe; inspiring awe

And the word, "awe"?

awe | a strong feeling of fear or respect and also wonder

I've never personally associated awe with fear.  Respect and wonder, however, is a lot more in line with how I've chosen to interpret the word "awesome".  So, back to what I think it means to be awesome.  To me, being awesome means acting in a way or interacting with others in a way that garners respect, and very possibly, wonder.

I've always had a very deep respect for people who continue to be kind, generous, and resilient, even in the face of adversities.  And I wonder - I wonder about how someone manages to maintain such class and grace, even when things aren't going their way ... because it's hard.  But, that's why when someone does act a certain way or does something that's pleasantly unexpected considering the circumstances, they're awesome.  As human beings, we're used to putting our needs first.  I'm only human!  When the going gets tough, being awesome might not come naturally.  I, for one, would be the first to admit that I'm guilty of this.  But, it's within all of us to try - to try and wake up every morning and be awesome.

Being a good friend, even if your friend hasn't been the most supportive.
Doing someone a favour without expecting something in return.
Not taking out your anger on someone when you're having a bad day.
Working hard to achieve something you're passionate about, despite numerous obstacles.
Appreciating someone else's struggles that may be different than your own.
Being a good listener, even when you really want to rant.
Offer to help someone without them asking you for help.
Respond positively, even if your first impulse is to react negatively.

And the list goes on.

Regardless of whether my interpretation of "awesome" is the same as someone else's, I can bet that we all share the same mutual desire of wanting respect.  Anyone's interpretation of what awesome is or what being awesome is is subject to constant re-definition.  The bottom line is, who doesn't want to be thought of as awesome?

So, as I sat on my couch and had my morning coffee (in my pjs, with a box of tissues, staring out at the overcast sky), I set an intention and reminded myself (to try) to be awesome and to inspire at least one other person to do so the same.

Chillin' Like a Villain

For as long as I can remember, I've dressed up for Halloween every single year. I'm fairly certain that I was dressed up for Halloween even for those years that I can't remember ... Thanks, Mommy! 

Year after year, I've dressed up as something cute/sexy/clever, a superhero, a well-liked protagonist, etc, etc. Never have I dressed up as a villain or anything remotely scary. Before yesterday, I never really stopped to think of why that was. 

Yes, sometimes I like to psychoanalyze my life choices. Yes, even trivial life choices, such as what I choose to dress up as for Halloween.

So ... surprise, surprise! My original Halloween costume this year was going to be a "social butterfly". To give you a visual -- I was planning on wearing a plain black shirt with social media icons (i.e. Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter) attached, along with some butterfly/fairy wings and antennae. Cute and clever, right???

Thanks to a suggestion from Sameer (who actually dressed up as Batman), I changed my costume last minute and did a complete 180.  Usually, I don't like last minute change of plans, so I don't know what came over me. I had my reservations, but I just decided to go for it. 

Prior to yesterday, I think the only time I wore face paint for a costume was when my parents put face paint on me for Halloween. I generally don't like face paint; I don't even like wearing foundation. I've also never worn a wig. They've never appealed to me because I find them itchy and creepy. Alas, I somehow managed to wear a full face of face paint and a wig all night. And it actually wasn't that bad! 

I ran into London Drugs pretty much right before I had to get ready, in hope to find some face paint, and was lucky enough to find this palette that had just the colours that I needed.

After looking at A LOT of Google images of "The Joker" and 45 min later. 

Thank goodness Sameer had a green wig handy (don't ask why) because I had no idea what I was going to do with my hair.

Long story short, I was a villain (a damn scary one too, if you ask me) for once ... and I liked it! I actually scared myself a couple of times throughout the night because I barely recognized the face that was staring back at me. I prayed that I wouldn't run into any kids as I was leaving my building because I literally looked like a child's living nightmare.  It made me feel like I had been missing out on the real Halloween fun -- the opportunity to be someone else for a night; the chance to embody a character that's completely different than your own. I've always stayed within my comfort zone and dressed up as something "safe".  

NOT THIS YEAR.  I think it's safe to say that I ventured into new territory.

Love Is to Be Celebrated

Happy Valentine's Day! 

I've had a love-hate relationship with this "holiday". In elementary school, I loved Valentine's Day. I remember learning how to make heart-shaped doilies and candy necklaces. Our teachers would send us home with a complete list of the names of the students in the class so that we could (realistically, so our moms could) prep "valentines" for everyone in the class. My mom would let me pick out the valentines I wanted to give out that year. There would be so many different ones to choose from - from Rugrats and Harry Potter to Winnie the Pooh and Charlie Brown.  I always looked forward to going to school that day. We would all have a paper bag with our name on it taped to the back of our chair. I liked being able to walk around the classroom to drop off my valentines into each person's bag. I liked going through my bag after and reading all my valentines. I liked it because no one was left out. 

In high school, Valentine's Day became a lot more complicated. Cute and innocent valentines didn't exist anymore. It was a time of candy grams, hormones, and anxiety. Valentine's Day was no longer a fun and light-hearted occasion. Instead, it revolved around infatuation and popularity, and was often tainted with jealousy and competition. Valentine's Day very quickly became a day that highlighted the gradual (albeit unfortunate) transition from inclusivity to exclusivity. All in all, it was stressful!

In undergrad, I hated Valentine's Day. There were no more candy grams and hormones no longer played as big of a role. I was a life science nerd at U of T and I was always busy studying. I was surrounded by hardcore pre-med students that were frighteningly ambitious. In attempts to keep up, Valentine's Day naturally became an insignificant day for me. I actually resented it. I was annoyed at the idea that there was a day dedicated to romance. Didn't people have more important things to worry about? Shouldn't people love each other everyday day? Why just this day?  Obviously, I was very opinionated ... and naive. 

Now, fast forward a bit (a lot) ... so, what do I think of Valentine's Day now? I enjoy it! I celebrate it as a day of love. Love - not just for my significant other, but just love for people, life, and myself. This Valentine's Day, I am back in Toronto. I am spending it with my family - the people who I love the most. Sameer wasn't able to come back to Toronto with me this time, but that's ok ... we celebrated early! 

Love is to be celebrated. 

It's important to celebrate love. It's what keeps people together. It's what fuels your passions. It's what defines humanity. It's what helps us persevere through a lot of hardships. And although Valentine's Day has inevitably become commercialized (like all other holidays), the concept behind it is still meaningful and sincere. It's not the day of the year where you should love or express your love more to those you care about. It's the day of the year that reminds you to celebrate, honour, and cherish the love that you already have in your life everyday. 

It's All About Perspective

I've recently been obsessed with the show Walking Dead. I know I'm a bit late to the game, as the show is now on its 6th season. Admittedly, I was very hesitant to start watching because the idea of zombies wasn't too appealing. Having now watched 5 seasons, I have to say that despite all the guts and gore, the show has much more depth than I expected. In particular, there was an episode that really resonated with me.

Just to provide some context for those of you who don't watch the show - the world is in an apocalyptic state as a result of a plague that has turned a majority of the population into mindless cannibals aka "Walkers". The main characters are largely strangers that have come together to form an alliance of sorts in an attempt to survive in the face of Walkers and limited resources.

In one of the episodes (season 5 - episode 2, I think), two of the characters (Bob and Sasha) play this game about "perspective". Sasha would come up with a seemingly negative situation or circumstance and Bob would counter by giving it a positive spin.

"Wet socks -- Cool feet"

"Mosquito bites -- Itching, to remind you that you're alive"

"Danger around every corner -- Never a dull moment"

"Sun beating down on you -- Glorious tan"

"No privacy -- Captive Audience"

Bob is one of my favourite characters on the show. His character's personality and perspective on life is refreshing, especially when juxtaposed with the show's motifs of doom, hopelessness, and struggle. His character is a good reminder that even in times of hardship, your attitude can really influence how you perceive your situation or circumstances.

It's all about perspective.

Even though Bob's character is fictional, people like Bob do exist in this world ... and I admire them! I admire them for their courage to accept adversity. I admire them for their ability to see beyond their current struggles. And I admire them for their unwavering perseverance to continue to enjoy life even when the odds are against them.

Over time, I've come to realize that self pity does no good (in any situation). All it does or will do is create a focal point for you to fixate on all the things that are not going right in your life. Life is not fair. Instead of thinking about how life has treated you unfairly, you should be grateful and thankful for your circumstances because there is always someone out there who is struggling harder. There is no sense in wishing away the negative and wishing for the positive, when at the end of the day all you're doing is wishing. Your life is what's been given to you, so live with it. Live "with" it sounds bad. But, I say that knowing that often times it's very difficult to change your perspective on something, especially when you're used to viewing it as being negative. Ultimately, the goal here (and this is a huge goal for me!) is to become so well-adapted to perceiving the positive in every situation that you're not simply living with it, you just live it. 

So, what was I thinking when I recently got the flu? (or at least I tried  to remind myself to think)

"I have the flu -- It's not fatal, I will recover"

"I have no appetite -- This will help curb my overeating"

"I can't make it to work -- I can catch up on sleep"

"I don't have the energy to workout -- I have more time to watch Walking Dead"

25 Was Good to Me

As I've said before, December is a very special month for me. Especially because my birthday is so close to the end of the year, it's usually the time for me to reminisce about the past year; the time for me to remember the obstacles I've faced and also the good times that I've had.

Yesterday, I turned 26! As usual, I didn't feel any older ... and I am glad. 25 was good to me. 2015 was a good year and I couldn't be more grateful. I finally finished a year of articling that felt like it would never end, I got called to the Ontario bar (officially became a lawyer!), I got a job in BC, I moved to Vancouver, I got called to the BC bar, two of my closest friends got engaged ... and that's just to name a few. It feels like I just celebrated my "quarter of a century" birthday with my friends in Toronto. It feels like just yesterday that I was thinking about what 2015 would bring. It's both thrilling and scary to think about how fast time "flies". Thrilling because I've experienced so many new opportunities in such a short amount of time and scary because I realize that time passes no faster now than it always did. It just seems like it goes by quicker because we forget to live in the moment.

As much as I hate to admit it, living in the moment is actually something very hard to do (at least for me). I'm a "planner" and perfectionist ... and if you are too, then you will understand what I mean when I say that oftentimes it's very difficult for me to enjoy the present moment without (over)thinking about or planning for what's ahead. Nonetheless, I am very aware of this, so I try to catch myself when I'm not being present.

On Friday, Sameer planned a surprise birthday dinner for me. The plan was for us to go to Chewies downtown Vancouver for dinner.  I thought it was just going to be the two of us, but he had invited a lot of our friends without me knowing and it was an awesome surprise. At the beginning of the night, I caught myself obsessing about insignificant things i.e. whether I was over/underdressed for the restaurant, I forgot to spray on my perfume before I left the house, whether I seemed surprise when I walked in ... and the list goes on. There was actually a moment that I remember very clearly when I looked around at all the people who had come out to celebrate my birthday and I realized that likely no one really cares. And in that moment, (believe it or not, in my state of semi-inebriation), I had some form of epiphany ... in 10 or 20 years, what I'm going to or want to remember from the night is not that I was over/underdressed or that I forgot to put on perfume, etc ... What I would want to remember is:

1. how happy I felt to be able to enjoy such good company;
2. how grateful I was to have someone who cared about me so much to go out of their way to plan a surprise for me; and
3. how lucky I am to have so many people who would take time out of their day to celebrate my birthday with me.

"Forever is composed of nows." - Emily Dickinson