Love Is to Be Celebrated

Happy Valentine's Day! 

I've had a love-hate relationship with this "holiday". In elementary school, I loved Valentine's Day. I remember learning how to make heart-shaped doilies and candy necklaces. Our teachers would send us home with a complete list of the names of the students in the class so that we could (realistically, so our moms could) prep "valentines" for everyone in the class. My mom would let me pick out the valentines I wanted to give out that year. There would be so many different ones to choose from - from Rugrats and Harry Potter to Winnie the Pooh and Charlie Brown.  I always looked forward to going to school that day. We would all have a paper bag with our name on it taped to the back of our chair. I liked being able to walk around the classroom to drop off my valentines into each person's bag. I liked going through my bag after and reading all my valentines. I liked it because no one was left out. 

In high school, Valentine's Day became a lot more complicated. Cute and innocent valentines didn't exist anymore. It was a time of candy grams, hormones, and anxiety. Valentine's Day was no longer a fun and light-hearted occasion. Instead, it revolved around infatuation and popularity, and was often tainted with jealousy and competition. Valentine's Day very quickly became a day that highlighted the gradual (albeit unfortunate) transition from inclusivity to exclusivity. All in all, it was stressful!

In undergrad, I hated Valentine's Day. There were no more candy grams and hormones no longer played as big of a role. I was a life science nerd at U of T and I was always busy studying. I was surrounded by hardcore pre-med students that were frighteningly ambitious. In attempts to keep up, Valentine's Day naturally became an insignificant day for me. I actually resented it. I was annoyed at the idea that there was a day dedicated to romance. Didn't people have more important things to worry about? Shouldn't people love each other everyday day? Why just this day?  Obviously, I was very opinionated ... and naive. 

Now, fast forward a bit (a lot) ... so, what do I think of Valentine's Day now? I enjoy it! I celebrate it as a day of love. Love - not just for my significant other, but just love for people, life, and myself. This Valentine's Day, I am back in Toronto. I am spending it with my family - the people who I love the most. Sameer wasn't able to come back to Toronto with me this time, but that's ok ... we celebrated early! 

Love is to be celebrated. 

It's important to celebrate love. It's what keeps people together. It's what fuels your passions. It's what defines humanity. It's what helps us persevere through a lot of hardships. And although Valentine's Day has inevitably become commercialized (like all other holidays), the concept behind it is still meaningful and sincere. It's not the day of the year where you should love or express your love more to those you care about. It's the day of the year that reminds you to celebrate, honour, and cherish the love that you already have in your life everyday. 

So What Do They Say About Salad?

I know they say you can't make friends with salad, but you totally can. Salad could never replace my best friends (i.e. mac n cheese and poutine), but we're friends. It's unfortunate that I only came to this conclusion fairly recently.

When I was articling in Toronto, there was a salad place right across from my office, right around the corner of Bay and Richmond (Sandwich Box - yes, they also makes sandwiches). I used to go there several times a week with my co-workers and we would obsess over how good the salads were. The only thing I didn't like was that my salads would come to $10-12 dollars every time. 

If you're wondering, it's one of those places where you can pick your own ingredients and the price is based on the weight of the final product. So naturally, it gets expensive because the good stuff always weighs more. 

That was my dilemma - I loved the salads there, but I hated spending that much money every time. After a bit of thought, I realized that the reason I liked going there so much was that: 

1. I could control what I wanted/didn't want to put in my salad;

2. I could control how much of everything I wanted to put in my salad; and

3. It was quick and I could easily take it back to work with me or eat it wherever I wanted.

Then I thought...

"Well if that's the reason, why am I spending the money and agonizing over it when I can just do the same thing at home?"

BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE TIME!!!

But, how long does it really take?

I already know what ingredients I like in my salad because I get the same thing every time. It's just a matter of doing groceries and getting everything that I need ahead of time (weekends are usually a good time!). If the plan is to wash and cut up veggies every morning before work to put in my salad, then yes, that would be time-consuming, inefficient, and impractical. But, if it's a matter of spending 30 minutes on a Sunday evening to wash and cut all of my veggies and cook quinoa, tofu, chicken etc. ... then it's well worth it. Meal prep, my friends. Admittedly, I initially thought "meal prepping" was just some obscure phenomenon that fitness fiends rave over. But, now I know better - it's not just for fitness fiends; it's for everyone. It's quick, efficient, and makes me feel productive and prepared for the week. And with that, I embarked on my journey and resolved to commit to meal prepping. It hasn't been easy on weekends where all I want to do is just lounge ... but then again, that's just life. And to be clear, what I'm advocating here is not that I don't enjoy eating out (because I love it!). When I don't feel like making my own salad, I still embrace the indulgence of paying for someone else to make my salad. 

I'm just saying ... 

All it takes is a little preparation and forethought 

(...and a bit of time and commitment)

... to achieve the same results yourself, as you would get elsewhere. Not just for salads!!! So, I guess that's the moral of my story.

It's All About Perspective

I've recently been obsessed with the show Walking Dead. I know I'm a bit late to the game, as the show is now on its 6th season. Admittedly, I was very hesitant to start watching because the idea of zombies wasn't too appealing. Having now watched 5 seasons, I have to say that despite all the guts and gore, the show has much more depth than I expected. In particular, there was an episode that really resonated with me.

Just to provide some context for those of you who don't watch the show - the world is in an apocalyptic state as a result of a plague that has turned a majority of the population into mindless cannibals aka "Walkers". The main characters are largely strangers that have come together to form an alliance of sorts in an attempt to survive in the face of Walkers and limited resources.

In one of the episodes (season 5 - episode 2, I think), two of the characters (Bob and Sasha) play this game about "perspective". Sasha would come up with a seemingly negative situation or circumstance and Bob would counter by giving it a positive spin.

"Wet socks -- Cool feet"

"Mosquito bites -- Itching, to remind you that you're alive"

"Danger around every corner -- Never a dull moment"

"Sun beating down on you -- Glorious tan"

"No privacy -- Captive Audience"

Bob is one of my favourite characters on the show. His character's personality and perspective on life is refreshing, especially when juxtaposed with the show's motifs of doom, hopelessness, and struggle. His character is a good reminder that even in times of hardship, your attitude can really influence how you perceive your situation or circumstances.

It's all about perspective.

Even though Bob's character is fictional, people like Bob do exist in this world ... and I admire them! I admire them for their courage to accept adversity. I admire them for their ability to see beyond their current struggles. And I admire them for their unwavering perseverance to continue to enjoy life even when the odds are against them.

Over time, I've come to realize that self pity does no good (in any situation). All it does or will do is create a focal point for you to fixate on all the things that are not going right in your life. Life is not fair. Instead of thinking about how life has treated you unfairly, you should be grateful and thankful for your circumstances because there is always someone out there who is struggling harder. There is no sense in wishing away the negative and wishing for the positive, when at the end of the day all you're doing is wishing. Your life is what's been given to you, so live with it. Live "with" it sounds bad. But, I say that knowing that often times it's very difficult to change your perspective on something, especially when you're used to viewing it as being negative. Ultimately, the goal here (and this is a huge goal for me!) is to become so well-adapted to perceiving the positive in every situation that you're not simply living with it, you just live it. 

So, what was I thinking when I recently got the flu? (or at least I tried  to remind myself to think)

"I have the flu -- It's not fatal, I will recover"

"I have no appetite -- This will help curb my overeating"

"I can't make it to work -- I can catch up on sleep"

"I don't have the energy to workout -- I have more time to watch Walking Dead"

Set Your Intentions and Make It Happen

Welcome 2016!

January 1st came and left just as quickly as 2015... and now we nearing the second weekend of January! I came back from vacation several days after New Year's and never got around to making a post about my new year resolutions.

Although, I make "new year resolutions" in anticipation of a new year (like many others) ... my resolutions are more like daily resolutions that I like to reaffirm when a new year comes around. 

(Similar to how some people renew their wedding vows from time to time)

This is because I can never wait for a new year to come around to resolve to make an improvement in my life. LIFE IS SHORT. However, this is not to say that I don't support people who find meaning in making new resolutions every year. To each their own! For me, when I recognize an area in my life that is in my control to change for the better ... I want to start that change right away!!! At the same, this doesn't mean that the actual change happens right away, nor does it mean that I'm always successful in making every change that I want to make. It simply means that I acknowledge when a change is necessary and I commit to making the change. 

But like I said, I'm not always successful in my endeavours. Change doesn't happen overnight; it's not easy and it takes time. I know lot of people (myself included) often give up before the change can even happen. This is more than understandable, considering most changes involve struggle and failure. BUT, I've learned time and time again that authentic change requires motivation, determination, commitment, and resilience (yes, all those powerful things!). In addition to that, I've gathered some other tips that have proven to be helpful and here they are: 

1. Be positive

Be optimistic about your ability to change and believe that you are capable of doing it!  Be confident in yourself and focus on the little steps you can take to eventually get to where you want to be, instead of worrying about potential hardships or obstacles that might stand in your way.

2. Be realistic

Even though you should always be optimistic, it's important to also be realistic. Ambition is great until it pushes you to make unrealistic goals that lead to inevitable failure. Start small and take little steps. It might take longer for you to get to where you want to be, but slow and steady wins the race! There is no point is setting unachievable goals because that's just going to discourage you from continuing.

3. Have a plan

Another reason why I think a lot of people give up before change happens is because they don't take the time to plan out how they are going to effect the change. You can't get from Point A to Point B without figuring out the route to get there! Visualize the change in your mind and visualize yourself taking the steps to do it. This always helps to motivate me and helps me to take my first steps in the right direction.

4. Be kind to yourself

A lot of people always think to be kind to others, but seldom remember to be kind to themselves. Be kind to yourself! Be patient! Remember that it's totally okay to not achieve all your goals all at once, as long as you are moving forward. And even if you take a couple of steps backwards ... it's ok! As long as you learn from your mistakes.

"It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop." - Confucius

I'm not going to share my entire list of personal resolutions, but for the sake of giving an example:

Ever since I started working full-time, it's been difficult for me to stay on track with my workouts. Being active and healthy is very important to me. So, whenever I feel that I'm not getting in enough exercise, I feel anxious and even disappointed in myself. For a long time, I've contemplated the idea of fitting in my workouts before work. Although I am likely more of a "morning person" than a lot of people I know, I am not a natural early-riser and waking up earlier than I have to (especially on a work day) is difficult for me. At the same time, I've discovered from past experience that working out first thing in the morning makes me feel great. It helps to energize me, boost my metabolism, improve my mood ... and the list goes on. 

Recently, I've decided to stop making excuses for myself. I realize that if it's THAT important to me to stay active, I can find the time and willpower to get up early. I started by committing to waking up early 2-3 days/week to workout before work. I knew that if I started out by forcing myself to get up 7 days/week, I would give up quickly because that would be unrealistic. So far, I've managed to stay on track. Perhaps I'll check back in 3 weeks or so to write an update about my progress :) Once I get used to waking up early twice a week, I'll likely push myself to wake up 4 days/week.  In any case, I realize that at the end of the day ... my reason for wanting to make this change is so I could feel better about myself and be happier. That in itself motivates me to keep going.

With that being said, always remember that any change you want to make should be about YOU. There's no point in trying to change when you don't want the change for yourself. You will not be motivated to work hard otherwise. 

25 Was Good to Me

As I've said before, December is a very special month for me. Especially because my birthday is so close to the end of the year, it's usually the time for me to reminisce about the past year; the time for me to remember the obstacles I've faced and also the good times that I've had.

Yesterday, I turned 26! As usual, I didn't feel any older ... and I am glad. 25 was good to me. 2015 was a good year and I couldn't be more grateful. I finally finished a year of articling that felt like it would never end, I got called to the Ontario bar (officially became a lawyer!), I got a job in BC, I moved to Vancouver, I got called to the BC bar, two of my closest friends got engaged ... and that's just to name a few. It feels like I just celebrated my "quarter of a century" birthday with my friends in Toronto. It feels like just yesterday that I was thinking about what 2015 would bring. It's both thrilling and scary to think about how fast time "flies". Thrilling because I've experienced so many new opportunities in such a short amount of time and scary because I realize that time passes no faster now than it always did. It just seems like it goes by quicker because we forget to live in the moment.

As much as I hate to admit it, living in the moment is actually something very hard to do (at least for me). I'm a "planner" and perfectionist ... and if you are too, then you will understand what I mean when I say that oftentimes it's very difficult for me to enjoy the present moment without (over)thinking about or planning for what's ahead. Nonetheless, I am very aware of this, so I try to catch myself when I'm not being present.

On Friday, Sameer planned a surprise birthday dinner for me. The plan was for us to go to Chewies downtown Vancouver for dinner.  I thought it was just going to be the two of us, but he had invited a lot of our friends without me knowing and it was an awesome surprise. At the beginning of the night, I caught myself obsessing about insignificant things i.e. whether I was over/underdressed for the restaurant, I forgot to spray on my perfume before I left the house, whether I seemed surprise when I walked in ... and the list goes on. There was actually a moment that I remember very clearly when I looked around at all the people who had come out to celebrate my birthday and I realized that likely no one really cares. And in that moment, (believe it or not, in my state of semi-inebriation), I had some form of epiphany ... in 10 or 20 years, what I'm going to or want to remember from the night is not that I was over/underdressed or that I forgot to put on perfume, etc ... What I would want to remember is:

1. how happy I felt to be able to enjoy such good company;
2. how grateful I was to have someone who cared about me so much to go out of their way to plan a surprise for me; and
3. how lucky I am to have so many people who would take time out of their day to celebrate my birthday with me.

"Forever is composed of nows." - Emily Dickinson

Tis the Season of Giving

If you are not already familiar with the Christmas song, "My Grown Up Christmas List" ... listen to it! (the Michael Buble version is my favourite). It's a great song and I've really been relating to it this holiday season. As much as I have been enjoying the season's celebrations, I've also been very mindful to all the adversities that people are facing around the world. Especially with all the tragedy that has been happening around the world recently, I am reminded everyday that I am incredibly blessed to be living the life that I live. With my birthday also coming up, I've had a lot of people ask me what I want for Christmas or my birthday. When I think about it, I realize there's nothing that I really need. 

When I used to think of Christmas or my birthday, the first thing that would come to mind was presents, food, parties, and more presents. Now, I think of love, happiness and family. Maybe it has to do with maturity ... maybe it has to do with moving across the country... maybe it has to do with being away from my family. Regardless, I am determined to do my best this year to help out those who are less fortunate. Everyone deserves to be able to celebrate love, happiness and family 365 days a year.

So, I am starting a personal tradition this year (and I hope some of you will join me!) to pledge gifts to the homeless in my community :) Homeless Partners is a great non-profit organization that allows homeless communities to post their personal stories and gift requests online. You can then pledge/donate gifts based on the wish lists and drop them off to different locations. 

Unfortunately Homeless Partners does not include homeless communities in Toronto. But for my Toronto friends, who are interested in doing something similar, Covenant House and United Way have created lists of items they are collecting to gift to those living in poverty.

With that being said, if you are someone who is thinking of what to get me for Christmas or my birthday, please save the money and donate it or a gift to someone in need this December! (or donate to cause/organization/charity of your choice).

Love openly and give generously, my friends! 

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

This post is long overdue!

Although I'm not a huge fan of the winter season, December has always been my favourite month and Christmas has always been my favourite holiday of all time! There's something about the spirit of the holiday that cheers me up even when I'm in the worst mood. It also helps that it's also my birthday month :)

In light of that, I was very excited to be able to decorate my apartment this year. We haven't had a Christmas tree at home for the last several years because we were travelling during the holidays. So, I made sure to get one this year. And because I'm a true believer in spreading Christmas cheer, here are some pictures that will hopefully do just that:

Of course I had a festive candle burning in the background - Frosty Pines!

I actually didn't get this one from Bath & Body Works (I felt so guilty).  I got this one on sale at the Superstore and it smells just like a live Christmas tree!

Since my tree wasn't real, the candle really did its job. Got this 6.5 footer from London Drugs and it was super easy to assemble.

Although the whole tree decorating process took awhile, I thoroughly enjoyed every moment of it. We used to decorate the tree as a family every year when I was younger and it was always a really good bonding experience. It was something that I looked forward to every year as December approached. Even as I was decorating my own tree this year, it brought back a lot of fond memories I had from my childhood. It actually made me realize how lucky I was to be able to associate this holiday with so much love, warmth, and happiness.

After we assembled the tree, we obviously had to stop and enjoy the sunset...

As always, Dollarama saved the day.  I got all of my tree decorations there for around $30.

... Oh Christmas tree! :)

Yes, I took this picture a day before I wrote this post.

A quick look at the rest of my apartment:

Welcome!

Snowflakes galore!

And now that decorations are done ... onto Christmas cards! Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and happy holidays!!! xoxo